I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
