something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
