champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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