I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
