My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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