You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
