Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
