So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
