This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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