actually, I'm a sock model
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
