I hope my margaritas pass through security.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
