Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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