I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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