so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
