It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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