I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
