Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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