yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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