You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
