just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
