when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
