i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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