i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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