I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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