Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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