giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
