she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
