Non-Jews are for practice
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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