Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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