I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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