Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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