She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
