Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
