that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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