In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
