I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
