We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize