I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
