May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
