his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
