Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
