he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
