I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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