this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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