He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
is that a dick in a sweater?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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