I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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