How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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