He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize