I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My first STD was from a foam party
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
