let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
