pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
