When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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