Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
