I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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