I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
