We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize