did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize