Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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