i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
