I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
