Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
