i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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