Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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