I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
