I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
