11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My ATM looks so different sober.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
