Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
