she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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